alone. finally.

Friday, May 2, 2008

A friend gave me this link last night (i hope he's not reading this though..) and medyo tinamaan ako. Honestly, I never thought that I had been spoiled. Lucky siguro since I've been going out with the nicest bf in the whole entire universe for almost 7 years now. He's really done a great job in taking care of me, kahit bago pa naging kami, inaalagaan nya na ko. From little things like texting and calling me every single day, accompanying me whereever whenever, actually patience pa lang, ibang klase na e! to bigger things like getting into things I want to do even if he's not really into it. Basta. Ibang klase talaga siya! You'll never find a single thing to complain about him. Kaya siguro ako nalungkot nung umalis siya a few months ago. I've been having depression spells nanaman. I think I may have grown too dependent on him.

After college, I had wanted to be more independent. For real. I know, mahirap kasi I've led a 'sheltered' life ever since, pero that was what I wanted. And I knew I'd only get to taste that someplace else. I've grown desperate through the years, kasi parang d ako mahanap ng opportunity to leave, so I started going to out of town trips, which had slowly became frequent. I initially wanted to do it alone. It was that trip to Caramoan. Ayaw ko talaga siyang isama, kasi gusto ko talaga maranasanan kung pano mag-isa. Pero natakot nanay ko na umalis ako mag-isa pati siya, natatakot sa kung anong pwedeng mangyari sakin, kaya sinamahan nya ko. And since then, most of my trips included him. Masaya naman, and medyo nabaon ulit sa limot yung pangarap kong mapag-isa. And then he left.

Ewan ko. Ang hirap. Pag binabalikan ko yung mga nangyari nitong mga nakaraang taon, ang laki talaga ng epekto nya sa akin. Para kong may extrang kamay, mata, paa, utak, nung andito pa siya. Lahat ng kelangan kong gawin, may parte siya. Halos lahat ata inasa ko sa kanya. Nakakalungkot. Kasi parang umikot ang buhay niya sa 'kin, at ako naman sa kawalan. Nakakapanibago, kasi nasanay na ko na andiyan lang siya. Nakakalungkot. Nakakawalang gana. Pero kagabi.. kanina.. naisip ko na kelangan ko nang magsimulang matutong mabuhay na mag-isa. Hindi laging andiyan siya para dumamay pag nalulungkot, tulungan ako pag may problema, o patahanin pag umiiyak.

Malungkot. Nakakatakot. Pero I guess mas magiging madali para sakin ang tumayo sa sarili kong paa ngayong wala siya.

So yeah. I'm looking forward to more frequent lunch dates, movie nights and out of town trips with just me and myself. :)

[this is just one of my many crazy incoherent posts. pag pasensiyahan nyo na po.]

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

You light me up and then I fall for you
You lay me down and then I call for you
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then sung for you

Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to

I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby

And I know things can't last forever
But there are lessons that you'll never learn
Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
So how's it you that makes me better

Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to

I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep comin' around

Why can't you hold me and never let go
When you touch me it is me that you own
Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
Would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby

Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep comin' around

Pretty baby
Why can't you see?
Pretty baby
Don't you leave me
Pretty baby
Why can't you see?
Pretty baby
Don't you leave me
Oh, pretty baby
My pretty baby, oh
My pretty baby


I wish I have one of them pretty babies (female sana kung pwede para mas maganda...) right here, right now.

KATIE NEEDS A HUG BADLY!


Paging anyone who can give me one for free.

a-n-y-o-n-e?

/me sighs

Life Lessons 101 Series: Lesson 01

Monday, April 28, 2008

Be careful.
Learn when to step on the breaks early on!
You'll never know when a head-on collision may result to loss of life (or love.)

Hello World!

Monday, April 21, 2008

That felt good. :P

hahaha

After over three months of hibernation, I am back! :) I'm missing blogger so much that I decided to resurrect this address and keep my wordpress blog as a 'souvenir' of the past.

Updates and what-nots will be posted moving forward but for now, do keep yourselves occupied with my ancient posts and my Philippine travel blog.

Later!

About

I am just a regular life explorer who wants to learn, see and be more! :)

Interests:
BEACH, good FOOD, the Philippines, culture, pets, movies, my family of course, sports, board games, trivia, the outdoors, swimsuits! lots and lots of swimsuits! :P smart and cool people, and an awesome adventure

Favorite TV Shows:
anything on NatGeo and DiscoveryChannel and a bunch of other shows that come and go

Favorite Quotes:
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
--Mother Teresa

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